transmisogynist cis women in queer spaces

fuck you. go home. get out of my space. get out of our space.

so last night i was attending a fun queer variety show of sorts. super hot performers, a significant amount of trans folk and genderfuckery galore.

my date and i actually came closer to the second half / end of the show, which is kind of a bummer, but anyway, we were standing around and really enjoying the hott performances, many of them drag pieces. i saw a few friends there and many other strangers i hadn’t recognized from the local queer dance party scene (but then again, it’s not like i go to all of them or whatever).

so there’s these two cis women, who appear to be together, hoopin and hollerin’ like the rest of the crowd at this (presumably) cis woman who was strippin down to a few tassels over her nipples and bright gold hotpants.

and then came a performer who appeared to be male-assigned at birth who identifies with female pronouns. i do not know much other than that, other than that she had body hair and a beard. super cute and hott and queer!!!

so when this hottie took off her wardrobe and covered her neither regions to a classy song, these two cis women in the front, who had just be laughing the whole time of the piece, were like “oh HELL no.” and just up and went to the back.

like. what the fuck, gals.

now. i’m not sure if i’d explicitly call this transmisogyny because i simply don’t know how this performer identifies. but i think it falls into that category with it being so genital-phobic and -centric to a male-assigned body who goes by feminine pronouns.

i’ve been leered at and talked behind my back before. let’s take the example of a queer dance party where i was slightly femmed up and went to a gender neutral bathroom.

apparently this cis woman didn’t get the memo attached at the sides of the walls saying “respect people’s genders” and such, because i clearly heard her talking about “that dude” who is using the “women’s bathroom.”

i should’ve gotten out and told her to go. to get the fuck out of there. to get out of my space. that she wasn’t a real queer, because we don’t do that to each other. that if she’s a lesbian or if she only celebrates female-assigned people a birth (cis women and transmasculine folks) to go fuck off because this fucking space is all inclusive and it’s people like her that keep trans women and transfeminine folks out of “queer” spaces.

but instead i glared at her. she looked away, ashamed. it kinda ruined my night, even though she shouldn’t have had that much power over me.

fuck that. i’m gonna get militant about this shit.

2 thoughts on “transmisogynist cis women in queer spaces

  1. I’m sorry this happened to you. I know how that bullshit can feel. I was at a similar party. It was a loft party with burlesque performances and such. It was queer, but much more cis women-centric. Didn’t think too much of it, more worried that I would not know anyone.
    My partner, a trans guy who knew a lot of the people there, brought me. We met an old acquaintance of his and they got talking. He mentioned me and used “she.” The friend gave me a mocking smile and before I could respond (or I did respond and say “or singular they is fine” but she ignored me) she grabbed my crotch. She squeezed my external genitals and looked me in the eye and said: “she?”
    One of the most humiliating experiences I’ve had in a supposedly queer space.
    Oh also some gay guy felt like he had the right to touch my chest and feel my growing chest.

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