it’s been a long time…

well, not that long.

my cycle of going to work, being disrespected, misgendered all the time, and wage slavery is over. i’ve found a new job with some wonderful people.

it’s stressful. it takes a bit out of me. but it is so rewarding.

i work at a LGBTQ youth space doing resource advocacy – connecting folks to resources and building agency with street-based queer youth.

i feel like my politics have grown up a little bit. i have a job that fulfills immediate needs of powerful, yet very marginalized, folks. i’m able to stand in sisterhood, or at least work toward sisterhood, with other trans women. there is distinct power in our distinct oppressions. i feel in a position to help bring this beauty out of people.

at the same time i realize the limits of the non-profit industrial complex. i knew it when i came in to my job. and shit, so do my coworkers and supervisors. that’s why i’m still doing work in the mass and revolutionary movements. i feel like that’s going to be a struggle – finding balance between the brand of activism that pays me, that is all about a push and pull within the system, and the brand of activism that doesn’t pay, that seeks to overturn the system through building mass and revolutionary movements to start anew.

that being said, a few updates.

– nothing new with no more apologies. i’m kinda bummed, but i’ve had such a busy month. i want to start this up again and push forward.

– i’m “passing” more often as a cis woman. which is hella fucking weird. sometimes i’m like “omgz finally this is such a relief,” while other times i’m like “omgz gurl i’m trans.”

– there is some deeply entrenched transphobia, in particular transmisogyny, in a lot of trans women that i’ve met. it kills me. it reminds me of how colonized our minds are. i’m trying hard to figure out how to self care when i encounter it and how to slowly change the culture of that.

– i’ve been feeling very powerful and vulnerable at the same time. it’s definitely because of the work that i live and breathe now. i think the range of emotions are beautiful, but it reminds me to take care of myself better now. i want to look into yoga and getting back into acupuncture.

– lastly, i’m going to be updating some sections on my blog: the blogroll section, the soon-to-be gender and sex section, and i’m going to be starting to write more theory on marxism and queer lib. finally, i want to write more on what other awesome people do with awesome groups – particularly trans women (duh). wheeee!

shoot me a message if you want more things.

❤ lucinda

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